What I Think My 21 Year Old Self Would Think Of Me Now

21yearoldme

This is a reverse of what I would say to my younger self. I wouldn’t change one thing that has happened in my past. If I did, perhaps the life I’m living now wouldn’t happen. Here’s what I think my 21 year old self would think of me now…

Have you heard Matthew McConaughey’s speech, when he won Best Actor at the Oscars in 2014? He says that the person he looks up to and chases towards is himself in 10 years time. And then when those 10 years have passed he will continue to chase after and look up to himself but in another 10 years time.

This inspired me to think about what my younger self would think of me now. I haven’t gone back 10 years but I was thinking what my 21-year-old self would think of me now. And this is what I think she would say…

This would be me as a 21-year old talking to my 26-year-old self.

Hey Lis,

Okay, slow down because I have so much to say and ask!

I can’t believe all the achievements, experiences and lessons you’ve learnt and done! You’re not working for the bank anymore??? What’s that all about???!!!?? I’ll eventually quit? I don’t want to quit!

And talk about romantic relationships...you’ve been in a few already?? Wait what?

I can’t believe how much your life, I mean MY life has changed. This is insane!

You’ve travelled so much in such little time and I’m really excited. Especially your Hawaii trip, that looks incredible!

I can see that you’ve had a lot of loss and grief in your life. Not the loss of people passing away, but a lot of people leaving your life so you can make room for more important people, especially yourself.

I guess this is why you made the decision to leave a long-term relationship when you were younger. You wanted to grow. Grow and find out who you are. This would've been such a hard decision for you that took A LOT of courage and strength. I’m really unsure about this, I don’t know if I can do that to me or us.

You’ve even farewelled a few friendships along the way, and this would’ve been so difficult. Mourning the loss of a friend you’ve shared many memories and time with, looks really hard. You’ve built such resilience out of all this and I congratulate you for that. How do I feel about this? I don’t like losing people, so I don’t know I will be able to do this.

You’ve conquering your fear of being alone? I can see you started going to things like dinners, concerts, festivals and travelled to Hawaii all by yourself! Was this part of the plan? But isn’t that scary? Don’t you need someone in your life to share these experience with? I’m sorry but being alone is lame and sad. No offence.

I guess you didn’t really need anyone but yourself. I can’t seem to see this right now.

I can’t imagine doing all that now. I feel scared and I don’t want to leave my comfort zone.

But that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for 5 years! You’ve been living life outside your comfort zone. Aren’t you proud of yourself? I guess there is so much to look forward too.

Look I’ll be honest I thought you’d be married by now ( I mean I thought I’d be married by now), living in your own home, having a stable job and looking to start having children soon but your life isn’t like that at all.

You’ve literally changed careers twice, lost a job and now you’re studying again? I’m still trying to get through the last year of uni now!

But if I take a step back, this is what I see...

You’re 26 years old now, living independently, you have such a cool job as a content creator, you have amazing friends who bring value to your life, have this incredible relationship with yourself, you’ve kept going with this blog I started last year (which BTW HAS A PODCAST NOW??!!??) and you’re also studying again??? Your life is so crazy but I can see that you are fulfilled with what you have and that to me is inspiring. You’re not wishing for things that you don’t have…..Ok, I see.. You started practising gratitude. ( I guess you’re really good at turning your pain into something positive, especially after every single hardship you’ve done through these past 5 years)

You don’t feel the need to be attached to anyone but you do hope for a special someone someday, but for now, I can see you’re just focusing on yourself. I can see that the next 5 years for me are going to be challenging, difficult but ultimately rewarding.

I will need to get comfortable with the unknown, learn to build resilience on my own and also cut the doubt and negative self-talk. Because I can see there is so much for me to look forward too and I’m really proud of who I will become.

I guess the only thing now is to leap. And reach as far as I can.

Wait, one last question!

Do I eventually own my own dog?

Always yours,

Lisa

What would your 21-year-old self think of you now?